Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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