She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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