oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
