Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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