I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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