So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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