tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
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