I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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