Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
how does that bad decision feel?
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
