i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
she pinky promised me she was 18
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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