Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
