my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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