dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
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our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
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He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
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