Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think people are normalizing furries
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
