Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
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