I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
