I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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