I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
