My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize
