My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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