He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
There r osticjed everywhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
