I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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