i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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