Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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