I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
