I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
