in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Randomize
