If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
