Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
