I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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