He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I wish they made helmets for livers.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Randomize
