Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
