i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
No subtext here. People are naked.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
Randomize
