Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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