Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Randomize
