i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize