i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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