I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
She even gives head with a lisp.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
