she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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