making cat noises will not fix the situation.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
