thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
