Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Randomize
