I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Randomize
