let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
