i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
We got so high we made milksteak
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
