Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
