Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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