Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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