Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
