Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.

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(813): View more from Florida

she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.

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(707): View more from California

It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.

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(830): View more from Texas

I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...

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(423): View more from Tennessee

I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.

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(619): View more from California

This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.

(858): View more from California

Essential life skills

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.

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