worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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