i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
