Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
