can u get pink eye on your cock?
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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