Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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