her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Randomize
