Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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