Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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