were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
