Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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