dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
