"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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