Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
In other news, I just burned my penis
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
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