I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
The beer is more important than you right now.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
