So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
