No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
