so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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